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Siciliano, the vice president for sales at a wholesale bakery in Mount Vernon, N. Beverlee Bartha of Northford "was wearing this cute navy blue sailor's outfit and had a knockout smile," Mr. "I took one look at her and thought, 'Wow.' " But when he asked Ms.

Bartha for her telephone number, he said, she declined, saying she would rather get to know him first through discussion groups at the church. Bartha, a customer service representative for Blue Cross-Blue Shield of Connecticut, went out to dinner with him. Siciliano said, the couple agreed that before the relationship went any further, they needed to get tested for AIDS.

As terrifying as this sounds, I’m really not joking.

Dating website Elite Single has conducted a survey of 445 of its members in an attempt to predict the key trends for future relationships in the 21st Century. Till death do us part, 2.5 children and a golden wedding anniversary, is so last decade.

That is eminently understandable: after all, we learn by observation.

Many couples are waiting longer to get to know each other before they have sexual relations, the observers said, and are asking for a commitment earlier.Added evolutionary biologist David Barash, "It's within the realm of human potential, but it's not easy." Lipton and Barash, who have been married 32 years and are the co-authors of "Strange Bedfellows" and "The Myth of Monogamy," said serial monogamy may be more realistic -- a model in which people move from one committed long-term relationship to another and choose partners for different reasons at different stages of their life. For some, even serial monogamy seems too restrictive.The 1970s introduced the concept of "open marriage" in which couples stayed married but were free to date other people. It last happened in 2001 when I mistook a nightie for a dress, and spearheaded the nineties revival a decade too early.And according to a new survey, my cavalier attitude to relationships will be all the rage soon.

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Frankly, in the age of AIDS, if you care about someone, then it's something you shouldn't think twice about doing." Mr. Bartha, who are both 40 years old and plan to be married, reflect a change in dating patterns over the past three years.

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